wikialityfandomcom-20200214-history
Quebec
Quebec (pronounced kay-beck) is the only part of Canada that doesn't deserve pork fat goth chicks in hell. But that doesn't mean they won't go to hell with the rest of their Candian brethren, they'll just get the cosolation of being invited Quebec City is the province's capital. It was one of the first european settlements in North America. So this makes Quebec City Freedom's first capital. Quebec's metropole is Montreal, a city populated by French-Canadians, normal Canadians and other less important races. French-Canadians are known for breeding bears in their forests, eating them alive on the sidewalk and for being very hairy. Quebec is a doubly screwed province of Canada. Its population is French-Canadian, and the reason why French is Canada's second official language. America tried to culturally liberate Quebec in the 1960s by creating Baseball's Montreal Expos. After struggling for over 40 years in the oppressive North, the team finally escaped in 2005 and fled to Washington DC, the heart of democracy, where they became the Washington Nationals. Since the Expos left, hotdogs taste like Dr. Colbert's earwax, which makes them collectors' items. Quebec is also rumored to be the headquarters of an international bear conspiracy designed to pry Maine away from the United States. As well as Vermont. History Of Quebec Quebec was first settled by unshaven French explorers, whose goal was to create a location with a name that would puzzle linguists and all users of the "hard c" sound. Quebec was also settled by people who wanted to stick it to England. Quebec Today Quebec slowly seems to be catching on to the idea that all of Canada is worthless and disgusting, but is still too much of a bitch to stand up and show Canada what it thinks. Instead, Quebecites pretend that they exist in their own little seceded nation, until Canada calls its citizens to the dinner table and they pack up their imaginary playthings. The moto of Quebec "Je me souviens," ("I will remember") is meaningless because they can decide what they are trying to remember. The Montreal - I mean Washington, Expos - I mean Nationals The team formerly known as the Montreal Expos had the right idea in 2002 with a much needed ethnic cleansing. That year, due largely to repeatedly misinterpreted statistics as a result of Canada's use of the metric system, the team relocated to the best city in the world, Washington D.C., in the infinitely greater country of America, becoming the far more gallantly streaming team currently known as the Washington Nationals. The removal and renaming of the Montreal Expos is an important step in America's intricate and noble Invasion of Canada. (There are no) Landmarks In Quebec There is an Olympic Stadium (Montreal) bulit for the 1976 summer Olympics which is still being paid for today. The president once lived in quebec with his wife. (There are no) Famous People From Quebec Celine Dion, the one disease that ceases to die, which infects Americans with lousy music and horrible fake french accent. Her main brewing larvee live in las vegas. A Typical Day In Quebec The one and only typical day in Quebec occurs every April 1st, when its citizens still staple fresh fish on each others' backs despite that the tradition is so five centuries ago. Strange Laws in Quebec Something about right turns on red. How to Give Quebec What it Deserves Canada's (Canada is Quebec's Padreman) Phone Number: 1-800-O-CANADA (1-800-622-6232) Call them and pull the following prank call: YOU: Your cat is on my fence. CANADA: I don't have a cat. YOU: Well, I don't have a fence. Then hang up. Let's get the entire nation prank calling Canada until it gets a cat! See Also *Jean Charest (29th Premier of Quebec) *Canada *French *Quebecois language